Witchcraft allows for people to self-determine their spirituality and also to change their minds throughout the journey. What works for you at one stage of your life might not work later on, or you might find something new which resonates more than what you started out with. There’s no right and wrong way to go about it, so don’t feel the need to categorise yourself or to feel stuck on a path which no longer serves you.
The type of witchcraft you practice will also determine which tools you need. For example, a kitchen witch will have a mortar and pestle as well as a sacred knife and a sacred wooden spoon inscribed with sigils or runes to infuse their cooking with magic, but a green witch will have a special trowel and a sickle or scythe for their craft.
Overarching all types of witchcraft is whether the practice is Solitary or in a Coven. You can choose to be a witch on your own and just in private, or you can join a group and the larger community of witches.
If you do choose to join a coven, it is important to note that a healthy coven should be difficult to get into and easy to leave (pretty much the reverse of a cult, which is easy to get into and impossible to leave like Scientology). The coven should spend time assessing you to make sure you’re not bat-shit crazy and you should do the same thing.
Discernment is important because you’re opening yourself up energetically with other people and all the energy they’re bringing in.
I also want to say that witchcraft is entirely inclusive of gender, race and sexuality. You don’t have to fit into a particular demographic in order to choose this path for yourself.
Let’s have a look at the range of witchcraft available:
Under the banner of Wicca is actually two different off-shoots from the original founders of the religion. Whichever one you choose to follow, this path is the most strict version of witchcraft and follows specific set rules and practices. You will either need to read up on it or join a teaching coven to learn more.
This is a practice which is handed down through families from generation to generation. If you have a lineage of witches, you will need to learn this from either your parents or grandparents. Sometimes, it can be part of a tribal tradition and involve a process of initiation.
A lot of mixed race witchcraft can incorporate ancestral practices such as voodoo or strega which originated in specific parts of the world and are part of culture.
This is a mix-and-match-your-own style of witchcraft. You get to cherry-pick from all the various types of witchcraft out there and collate your own version of practice which works for you. This style can also be in a state of flux, subject to tweaks, refinement and adaptation. It’s very flexible.
This is a practice centred on the natural world of plants predominantly, but animals also. It involved spending a lot of time in nature, talking to trees, grounding and growing plants.
Green witches tend to incorporate herbal medicine into their practice.
A kitchen witch is someone who focuses their magic on nurturing the body, home and family. They infuse magic into their cooking and do a lot of cleansing in their house which is considered their sacred space.
A cottage witch is a combination of Green and Kitchen which is a more holistic form of kitchen witchery where it closes the loop on living naturally. They grow their own herbs and vegetables in order to use them for cleansing and cooking in the home, then compost the scraps back into the garden.
Not to be confused with the Little Mermaid, sea witches are connected to the ocean tides, lunar cycles and salt water and sea shells. They usually also have animal guides which are aquatic such as dolphins and their rituals usually take place at the beach.
This is a Goddess-centred practice where the masculine energy is ignored and only the feminine energy is incorporated. This is usually the realm of very active feminists. Based on the Roman goddess Diana.
Focusing on the four elements of earth, air, fire and water, this practice draws upon those particular energies and the spirits associated with them.
The hedge tradition started when witchcraft was heavily persecuted in Europe and particularly England and Ireland. Teaching witchcraft was done behind the hedge-rows so that nobody could see them.
However, it can also refer to a practice where the witch straddles the liminal space between physical reality and the Otherworld of the astral plane or fairies.
A cosmic witch is someone who studies astrology and the movement of the planets and stars in order to work their magic.
On top of that it can also refer to the Star-Seed groups and witches who encounter aliens.
This is the witchcraft for athiests category because it doesn’t include any deities, just energy, intention and will.
This is one which a friend of mine informed me about and it centres on environmental activism and the global community. Their website can provide more information if you’re interested; reclaiming.org
It’s important to recognise that this is a path people can choose to follow. Whether you judge it as good or bad, this is the realm of shadow and some witches occasionally dabble or focus their craft in this direction.
This involves necromancy, hexing, curses and demons.
A word of warning about this last category: some people choose this path because of the power-trip. Just remember that witchcraft holds you responsible for every action you undertake and energy can come back to you if you put it out there. Also, it may seem like a bad-ass thing to do to summon a demon, but they’re ridiculously easy to summon. They will wonder in if you leave the door open and if you strike a deal with one, be sure that they’re getting all the perks and none of the price. You’ll be paying it later. Also, getting rid of them is much more difficult than inviting them in and you could get stuck with a demon hovering over your life.
Be careful with your energy, use discernment and understand what you’re doing before you do it.
If you suffer from chronic people-pleasing, or find that other people are constantly using you, there are things you need to start doing to set up healthy boundaries for yourself.
You can also watch the video version below;
When it comes to boundaries, prevention is better than cure, but it can be hard to notice where your boundaries are if you weren’t taught this properly by your parents. Some people don’t set limits with others until they are literally at their wits end, and then they proceed to explode in someone’s face. This ruins relationships which would otherwise have been manageable if some precautions were taken from the outset.
Just to be clear: if you have to get angry to enforce your boundaries, you’ve already let it get out of hand. If you know that particular people won’t listen to you the first time, then you need to separate from those people and either keep them at arms-length or cut contact entirely.
Sure, you might have to move out if you live with someone like that or lose 90% of your relationships, but if you don’t have the guts to save yourself from other people then you may as well embrace your fate as a used and abused doormat now, cos those people are not changing.
They don’t have to. This works for them.
Your Boundaries are the natural walls you build around what is ok for you and what is not ok for you. When someone brushes up against them, you may notice an automatic bristling. Noticing and acting upon those brushes is more important than we’re usually taught.
That’s why its super important to know your own limits, likes and dislikes. It sounds obvious, but this is something empaths struggle with a lot. They’re used to knowing how other people feel better than they know their own feelings.
For normal people, they take their time establishing friendships and relationships, but for someone suffering codependency or who is a natural empath, this is a process they’re used to skipping over. They tend to fall prey to love-bombing too easily (yes, even with friendships this applies) and that’s how narcissists push themselves into your life.
Suffering from narcissistic abuse can seem like everything is out of your control, but every relationship is a two way street and you’re more in control than you think.
If you understand that not everyone you make friends with is going to be capable of meaningful and reciprocal relationships, you can hold friendships lightly at first in order to see where the other person is at. If that person seems like a good sort and they’re keen to create a deeper friendships, this is something you can progress towards over time.
For those relationships which are already functioning inside of toxicity, setting boundaries will be hard to do without completely destroying the relationship itself. That is a sacrifice you have to be prepared to make because otherwise you have no bargaining power with someone who is prepared to play hard.
These sorts of people already don’t value you properly, so using threats or ultimatums is useless. The only power you have is to walk away and it’s vital for your self-esteem that you actually do it (safely, if the person is potentially dangerous).
Part of establishing boundaries is to get to know yourself. If you’re constantly looking towards the other person, their needs and their volatile mood swings, you will never have the mental space to do this, so your first step is to be alone as much as possible.
You need to start creating a relationship with yourself. That means turning all that attention inwards; discovering how YOU feel in different situations, noticing how YOU react to various people, knowing what YOU like.
Mindfulness is a key which can unlock a real relationship with yourself.
Part of that mindfulness is spending quality time with yourself. Take yourself out to a nice cafe and enjoy a cup of coffee with a good book. Go on a hike through a national park. Have a luxurious bath and listen to some soothing music.
Treat yo self.
The next step is to start saying no to things more often.
You don’t need to get angry with someone for asking. There’s not always a malicious intent if someone asks you to do a thing or borrow stuff or whatever, but that doesn’t mean you need to oblige. Determine in each situation if this is something which costs you too much time, energy, money or emotions before you say yes to anything.
How do you know which people you need to get distance from? They’re the ones which get angry when you start saying “no”.
If someone can’t shrug off a basic “no” and accept it as your literal right to do so, that’s a user and you don’t want to waste too much of your time on them. They can be as charming as they like, but if the cost of their friendship is carte blanche access to everything you have and everything you are, that is a hefty price tag.
Reciprocation is a choice, not a right.
The same applies in the other direction; just because you do something nice for someone, doesn’t mean they owe you. Being generous is a choice, not a contract. This is something codependents do just as much as narcissists; they think that if they make themselves subservient to another person, that person will give them the love they’re craving, but you can’t make a demand like that.
Love is freely given, not bargained.
If you’re trying to barter services in exchange for love, you’re likely to be bitterly disappointed in other people because the people you’ll attract are the sort who breadcrumb their love in exchange for massive amounts of servitude.
Settling for the crumbs from someone else’s table sends the message that you have no real value and then people proceed to undervalue your boundaries.
So break the cycle of giving to others and start establishing a new cycle where you give to yourself first and then decide if another is worthy of your precious time.
When you finally find someone worthy of that time, you will have a lot more to give because you haven’t become depleted from wasting it on one-sided relationships.
To be honest, that depends on how healed and awakened both of them actually are.
It also comes back to the question an empath must always ask themselves; just because I can, does that mean I should?
Lets unravel this convoluted piece of mind-fuckery.
First of all, what is the key difference between being codependent and being an empath? Are they the same thing?
No, they aren’t the same thing, but they often interweave, overlap, or at the very least spring from the same source: fundamentally messed up relationships with one or more parents or primary caregivers.
An empath is someone who has spent their early childhood having to temperature gauge the emotional environment in their house because at any moment the person in control of whether they live or die might just explode. They develop the skill of feeling emotional waves rolling off other people, processing them through their own body and experiencing the whole thing as though it is their own emotions.
The YouTube channel Empoweress describes it as being;
“…required to abandon your own needs for the sake of someone else’s emotionality.”
Empaths are prone to anxiety, people-pleasing, codependency and sudden inexplicable mood swings, but they don’t have to be. They will need a lot of alone time to detox from other people which may become an avoidance of going out and potentially full-blown anxiety about having to expose themselves to the emotional soup of the outside world.
They will also try to mollify anyone around them in order to quell the emotions flying at them. Conversely they may lash out at anyone bringing their emotional shit-show to the room.
Obviously, none of this is healthy.
All empaths needs to learn about, and develop, boundaries. That’s a whole other subject for discussion at a later date…
So what is a codependent?
Where an empath can function quite happily (and might even be happier) without a relationship, a codependent cannot. A codependent is an empath who feels lost without a close personal relationship. There is no such thing as a healed or awakened codependent because if you do the healing and awaken to the smell of bull-shit, you will stop being codependent.
The clue is in the name; Co = needing a partner in crime; Dependent = needing something or someone in order to do the thing with the thing.
Now, often a codependent will do their crazy little dance with a narcissist because that’s how they were raised and what seems natural. The ensuing abuse feels like love to them.
But can you attract a codependent person without being a narcissist?
The answer is yes. The real question is why?
Because a codependent needs someone with a stronger core to lean on. They’re unable to stand up for themselves or make themselves unagreeable to others in defense of their own boundaries.
But why would an empath who is not codependent end up with someone like that? Because they’re preconditioned to it from a parent dynamic.
What if there is a type of narcissist who is also codependent? What happens if you’re raised by someone like that?
Well, there is. They’re usually referred to as “covert narcissists” or “shy narcissists” and they’re the most insidious and pernicious of the type because they’re less obvious.
What does this type of personality disorder look like?
First, you need to understand what happens when a codependent turns toxic. The features of this are listed below:
As you can see, a lot of this looks like narcissism and in a way it is. The premise of many of these behaviours is that this person is at the center of everyone’s lives and that totally unrelated stuff is somehow aimed at them. If that grandiose sense of self gets out of control and if they shut off their empathy you will have a narcissist.
I know that at various times I have been guilty of some of this behaviour, particularly in friendships, mostly because I kept being friends with narcissists.
What causes this?
Essentially, the codependent turns into a control freak to try and make things more normal. This won’t work with a narcissist, so its a never-ending battle and until the codependent understands the mind-fuck, they’ll never stop trying to claw back their sanity.
With normal people you don’t have to constantly be on alert that they’re about to set fire to something and then blame you for it. Having a narcissist in your life is like having an insane, rabid, gigantic toddler with access to money and a car. You’re the parent of this monstrosity, but the reality of your influence over whether they bite someone is pretty minimal. However, child services will still turn up and arrest you for all of the toddler’s collateral damage.
This is how I grew up dealing with my mother. It forces a child to mature way too quickly, without any of the actual power in the dynamic.
Luckily I was never someone who needed to be needed. Mostly I enjoyed being left alone, possibly because I had to adapt to changing schools 11 times which meant that I had gaps in making friends and didn’t always *fit in.
So I became very resilient, independent and self-reflective. I was not afraid of going against the grain, standing up for myself and others, or calling bull-shit when I saw something which wasn’t right.
Of course I still attracted narcissists, because I was still awakening to what was really going on and finding my way out of the mental woods, however I knew I didn’t want a narcissist as a partner. At least I was smart enough to look at my chaotic narcissistic friends and realise I didn’t have the patience to live with that.
So how did I always end up in toxic relationships?
How did I do that?
Well, at first I considered the possibility that I might be a narcissist myself, but the very fact that I questioned it precluded me from that category. Apparently a complete lack of self-awareness and responsibility are hallmarks of the type.
I’m definitely an empath. That much was obvious from the way I would randomly feel sad for no reason, or instinctively know when someone was angry without them saying anything, or become overwhelmed in shopping centers.
But I never went into a relationship with the mindset of trying to change someone, or control them, or get emotional validation from them at any cost. I didn’t want to “fix” my partner, but apparently they wanted to fix me.
The number one phrase I kept repeating in every relationship was this: “If you’re so unhappy with who I am, why are you dating me?”
They never really had an answer…
I say last with half a mind to mean both senses of the word.
My ex was (or probably still is, I mean, he’s not dead) a fun-loving guy who never got mad about anything and was always willing to do stuff for others. He came from a lovely, very traditional nuclear family which is miraculously still in-tact and is an intelligent hard-worker who achieved the Dean’s List at university.
If you’re already relationship-woke you’ve probably spotted about 3 red-flags right there.
He was chronically codependent with his friends, family, neighbours and workplace. In fact, everyone except me. As his partner, I was an extension of him rather than a separate person with whom he should be maintaining a relationship.
In his quest to people-please he worked dangerous hours at his job, sometimes a 20-hour day, 7 days a week and seemed unable to say no to his boss (no, he wasn’t having an affair, the sad fuck was actually working). At Christmas we would go broke buying presents for his family and friends, but mine were almost irrelevant (also, it would have made my family uncomfortable to be given obscene amounts of gifts which they couldn’t reciprocate).
He would volunteer to help people fix their houses, throw big parties, shout his friends on a night out and spend the grocery money on concert tickets which I was not invited to, but he wouldn’t help me change a tyre or take me to hospital when I needed it.
With one friend of his he would not assert his boundaries and this dude would turn up every Friday evening and not leave until Sunday evening. I literally begged my partner to say no and tell him that he can’t just camp every weekend. In the end I had to scream and threaten to get personal space, which of course made me look crazy.
He felt entitled to everything which was mine from my money, time and energy to my personal space, ideas and body. Whenever he came up against my boundaries, he would take it personally and accuse me of not loving him.
Among his friends I had a reputation because I was the big bad bitch who told him no. And he was such a nice guy…
In fact, being “nice” was so important to him that when I had to assert my boundaries with friends, he decided that I was a terrible person and actually broke up with me. Later on, he found out exactly how far those friends had pushed me and lied to him, but by that point I had no love left.
The label of being the “crazy, cold-hearted bitch” was something I just had to wear if I wanted to stand up for myself.
No, he isn’t. I’ve met those people and he isn’t one of them. However, he is toxic. He’s particularly toxic to himself. He abused me the way he abuses himself.
And that’s the thing; someone doesn’t need to be a psychopath to be toxic. They can be the most caring people you know and yet be completely detrimental for you.
That was my biggest problem; it was so hard to reconcile how terrible I felt in that relationship with how “great a guy” he was.
Being codependent is no joke. They can do just as much damage to another person as a narcissist can. If you have a tendency to people-please or martyr yourself or try to “fix” others in your life, you need to understand that this is extremely toxic.
If you try to usurp another person’s sovereignty, autonomy and responsibilities you will potentially stunt their development, steal their power or just generally piss them off.
Instead, you need to remind yourself that other people are separate from you in every way; have the right to make choices (even bad ones); and should be respected to determine their own lives without you putting in two cents.
Your partner included.
What I am now looking for in a partner and what I need most in a relationship is this:
Someone who respects my boundaries and who is capable of dealing with their own shit.
I do not want someone to “fix” me or “save” me. I am perfectly capable to doing that for myself if I determine that it needs doing. And I have no time for baby-sitting grown men who won’t stand up for themselves.
Tattooing, branding and ceremonial scarring could be as old as cave art and can be found in different cultures across the globe. From South Pacific Islands and Australia to the Vikings and ancient Celts, human beings have been marking their own skin for thousands of years.
In more recent times the perception has shifted, due to an absence of tribal ceremony and a proliferation of personal choice. This has led many people to label tattooing as a “trend” and “cosmetic” devoid of meaning.
Some have gone as far as to say that it’s a sign of mental ill-health:
But is this really the case, or is it just that our global and virtual culture has fundamentally changed how we express tribalism and mark rites of passage?
There are many personal reasons why people choose to mark their skin, and sure, psychological issues may be a motivation for some people, but I would argue it’s a minority.
Also, someone else’s skin is none of our fucking business.
That’s like having an opinion on plucking eyebrows or whitening teeth. How is this anyone else’s business except the person who’s body it is? Can we collectively stop feeling entitled to comment on other people’s bodies?
That being said, I believe that while the format of how we undergo tattooing has changed, the reasons for them have not.
They still signify rites of passage.
They still signify milestones.
They still mark personal growth.
They still identify you as belonging to certain “tribes” and sub-cultures.
This is all important aspects of being human, finding a sense of belonging, telling your own story, and remembering your past.
EVEN IF YOUR INITIAL REASONS FOR GETTING ONE WAS TO BE COOL.
Each one of my tattoos contains a story and a significant memory. They all mark stages of my journey so far.
Just above one of my tattoos is a faint little scar (see feature image) and this little scar always reminds me of the cat who put it there. That’s my Boise scar and I remember him every time I look at it.
It’s easy to judge tattooing as a form of self-harm because they inherently involve pain, but pain is a natural part of growth. We can’t, and shouldn’t, be avoiding it so much.
As a society we have become pain averse.
I think this is a precarious place to be. We need to be teaching people how to embrace the process of learning from pain and transmuting it into growth.
If we don’t, then we get stuck in our trauma and can’t get past it.
I sat crying in the back seat of the car, refusing to get out.
“Ok then, you’re on your own,” my mother said.
She and my brother left me to go on their bush walk through the karri forest of southern Western Australia.
I could not explain to them the abject terror I had felt as the car pulled in and I could see a multitude of angry faces appearing and disappearing throughout the trees. Even at the age of seven I knew it wasn’t normal.
Contrast that disturbing experience with my stumbling across a fairy grove in Tasmania last year and deciding to live next door to it.
Fairies and nature spirits can be a real mixed bag. Sometimes they’re soothing and benevolent while other times they can be hostile and aggressive.
One thing they’re not is the Fae or an elemental.
These three types of spirits get confused and lumped together all the time but it’s as wildly inaccurate as saying that Indigenous Australians are from India, just because they have similar skin tone.
So what are the key differences to understand?
Nature spirits are literally that; they’re tied to this particular planet and it’s lifespan of cycles in a way which we can only ever be jealous of.
Asides from Fairies you can include various other 4th and 5th dimension beings such as sprites, gnomes and dryads. The key characteristic they all share is being tethered to location.
Nature spirits are only found in very specific locations and the environment is their portal to this dimension. Certain “ingredients” need to be present for this to happen; rocks, water, plants and a wildness where the environment has not been messed with by man.
As development encroaches, these portals are wiped out and those spirits leave our dimension in a way where we may not see them again for a very long time.
The earth goes through waves and cycles referred to as Yugas in the old Sanskrit texts. These last for thousands of years and coincide with the transit of the sun through its 25,000 year orbit. One Yuga of roughly 2000 years equals one solar month.
The Mayan calendar is also based on this extremely long cycle.
At the moment we’re ending a Kali Yuga and starting a Dwapara Yuga which means we’ve been through the lowest point and are coming into the upswing. During the “winter” of consciousness, all the other dimensions are less perceptible and we forget that reality is a layering of different frequencies which contain different populations.
Nature spirits exist in the higher layer of the fourth dimension and lower layer of the fifth, which makes them some of our closest neighbours. They’re attached to the earth through plants and rocks which they resonate with so if those things are disturbed or destroyed they can become disconnected.
Understandably, they will defend their territories. That’s why some places feel wonderful and some feel malevolent.
I’m actually not a fan of the term “Fae” since it is used to lump Elves with Fairies and also has negative connotations. Think of it in terms of the “N word”.
Elves are as different from fairies as elephants are from pigs. This is no shade on either of them, they’re just… that different.
Where nature spirits reside in 4/5 dimensions and are deeply connected to the planet, Elves reside in the 11th dimension and have a completely different purpose in life.
Just to clarify, dimensions are more like layers than some sort of hierarchy, but even so it can be difficult to connect to a being which is in such a different layer to this one.
This isn’t just a case of training your perception to shift, this is more like serious inter-dimensional travel.
Like I said earlier, earth goes through cycles of consciousness, but more than that, it goes through cycles of dimensional shifts. This is why we have so many legends of things which have never really existed in 3D form. It isn’t that they weren’t here, it’s that their form is in a dimension which earth currently can’t access.
As the planet starts to ascend again, these beings will return to our reality. Of course, we probably won’t be alive to see that because it’ll take a few thousand years.
Elves are beings of higher consciousness. They’re masters of technology, science and the mind but not just human consciousnesses. They have a real gift for connecting to plants, minerals and colours in order to hack the frequencies for medicinal purposes.
This is the main reason why they get intermingled with nature spirits. Where fairies are part plant in their essence, elves “speak plant” on a different frequency for a different reason.
The elemental beings are another type altogether.
Most spiritual practices talk about four elements as being earth, wind, fire and water. However, I have a different theory.
For me, gnomes and the earth is part of the nature spirit collective, specifically tied to the path and story of this planet.
Elements are more like forces of nature. Wind, fire and water are all energy in motion and the spirits tied to them are distinctly different to nature spirits.
For one thing, they’re not tethered to a place.
Elementals are called in by motion.
Salamanders will come to the smallest flame if you invite them and leave once it goes out. Sylphs follow the winds and can redirect them if you need to herd together a rainstorm. Water nymphs or mermaids flow with ocean currents and they can’t survive in stagnant water.
All of these elements can exist on different planets and their consciousness can travel to other worlds. They can also abandon this planet if these elements they are tethered to become toxic. In those situations you’ll find other beings take over which are less playful and more destructive.
The various layers of dimensions and how they relate and connect to the 3D planet we live on are quite diverse and complex. They’re also separate from us in a lot of ways, but not separate from nature.
As human beings segregate themselves and discontent from the natural environment, we lose our ability to interact with the higher frequencies.
If we want to return to a state of reconnection we must leave our egos and selfishness at the door. You can only approach these beings from a humble and playful frame of mind. Never assume you’re above them, show respect and gratitude for their presence, and generally don’t mess with their territory.
As delightful and magical as these beings can be, they have zero time for assholes.
If you’re in the process of your spiritual awakening you may have started to notice some of the egos around you on both the personal level and the collective level.
We’re going through a shift on earth as we begin the upswing from a Kali Yuga and leave the age of Pisces in order to enter the age of Aquarius and begin Dwapara Yuga. The Dwapara phase is an era of energy work, whereas the Kali era was focused on materialism. It began with the Victorian spiritualist movement and has continued to develop from there.
This transition phase is busy highlighting where materialism is toxic and where energy holds greater truth. We’re practicing discernment on a mass scale and it’s a painful process.
One of the materialist concepts currently dying (and raging against its natural demise) is “might is right” and the clinging to old power dynamics.
Examples of this can be seen in obvious areas such as Me Too and Black Lives Matter where a reasonable person can see how the imbalance of power has manifested in death, poverty, sexual exploitation and systemic divides.
But there are less obvious examples that I want to discuss today and they centre around subtle toxic ego on both a collective scale and a personal scale.
My prime example at the moment is Brexit.
If you’re confused as to what this is, don’t worry because no one knows what this is, including the people in charge of it. You can search for news articles if you need further clarification and I recommend using the BBC as a reference point.
Brexit started with an idea that Britain was being exploited by the European Union which it is/was a part of. That somehow poorer nations were coming to the UK to “steal jobs” and that there was an imbalance of benefits in trade.
However this viewpoint failed to take into consideration how many British people live in mainland Europe or how open trade made selling their products to the rest of Europe so much easier. The truth was that Britain got their fair share of perks just like the rest of Europe.
The biggest issue was the sense of entitlement.
The UK believes that by virtue of who they are, this in itself is somehow a gift to the rest of Europe. That they condescend to grace them with their presence.
You can see this rhetoric in political speeches from politicians who are supremely confident that all their demands will be met in a Brexit deal which will give the UK everything they want without having to exchange anything in return.
On a micro scale you can see an example of this in the fictional work of Fifty Shades of Grey (it’s badly written but an interesting examination of relationships). In this story Christian and Ana negotiate the terms of their “relationship” and Ana points out how skewed it is to benefit him over her. When she asks what she will get from the exchange he replies “me” as though this is sufficient.
In dynamics of power, the “might is right” camp rely on the unspoken concept that they hold all bargaining chips and anyone should be grateful for their breadcrumbs. The value of these crumbs hinges entirely on the idea that association in itself holds value and that the subordinate can’t create wealth or happiness for themselves.
As Europe has demonstrated during Brexit negotiations, they feel no need to be associated with Britain or rely on their contribution in order to forge ahead in economic development. This has been shocking and demoralising for the UK, who assumed everything would go their way and are having a reality check on their own insignificance to Europe.
Likewise, if you have a relationship where one person believes they can dictate terms simply because they’re a gift from God, if this is not reflected back to them, it can seriously disrupt their ego.
When ego is built on narcissism, you get situations where egoic shock can occur and reality slaps them in the face.
The usual response is to try and flex.
The individual or collective who are perceiving egoic attack will try and enforce their will and regain dominance. How successful this is depends heavily on how much real power they hold and not their perceived power.
Have a look at how the European negotiators are handling Brexit because it’s delightful to see. They’re almost completely unruffled and have no intention of being intimidated into compliance by the political equivalent of a temper tantrum.
For Britain, this is a whole new era of discovering that the world has moved on without them. That they are no longer a power house who can call shots, dictate terms or use force to get their own way. If they do, the global economy will shun them. This behaviour is no longer acceptable.
Colonialism is officially dead.
The same process is happening in personal relationships. Whether parents, partners or workplaces, the tolerance for accepting grotesquely inadequate exchanges is thinning out. It isn’t sustainable. It isn’t equitable. It is not ok.
However, old systems don’t go down without a fight and you’ll probably see this kick-back in many ways. It could get nasty.
Don’t give up. Don’t give in.
And never sell yourself short.
If you have been noticing strange synchronicites like the number 11:11 or a particular animal hanging around you like a lady bug, then you probably have spirit guides and angels trying to reach out to you and let you know that they’re around if you need them.
The general rule of a spirit guide, whether they’re an ancestor, angel, alien or animal totem, is that they can give you nudges, but they can’t intrude or impose on you. They’re not a toxic entity which will infringe on your boundaries to brow-beat you into letting them in (kind of like a narcissistic relationship) and they always respect your free will.
This means that they can’t fully connect to you unless you meet them halfway.
How do you meet your guides for the first time?
The initial key to connection is that you need to shed your fears. If you’re connecting to guides, they’ll be light beings who’re part of your support team and only want whatever is best for you. At any point if you get scared, they will back off. If something doesn’t back off, then it isn’t a guide but you should know that you are still in control and have the authority to tell them to leave.
Keep an open mind about who your guides might be. They might not look the way you expect, so try to shed expectations.
The next step is to create a safe physical space. Find a peaceful spot and spend some time clearing it out energetically and physically at the same time. Literally clean it from top to bottom. Make it comfortable. When that is done, use music or singing bowls or drums or singing to change the sound resonance of the space. YouTube has a huge variety of free meditation music you can use for this purpose if you don’t have the funds to invest in this just yet. Once that’s done, you can light a white candle and burn some white sage or an incense stick. Again, this is to fill the space with cleansing energy.
Once you have prepared the physical space and found a comfortable place to sit down, you are now reading to either close your eyes, or soften your gaze as though daydreaming and allow your inner vision to take over.
In your mind, establish a launching place. It can literally be a familiar landscape such as your front porch, or it can be a clearing in the middle of a forest. Whatever you choose as your starting point, know that you can always come back to it whenever you’re ready.
From the starting place, establish a time of day or night and ensure that you have ample light-source to navigate by such as a bright moon over the desert, lamps in a public garden or perhaps an open roaring bonfire surrounded by tall trees. For the sake of practice, this visual is going to be in a forest clearing with a campfire in the middle. Feel free to change this if you want to repeat the exercise at a later date and make it more personal to yourself.
Take a short walk towards the source of light, noticing that others are already gathered in that area. They may be standing around, or seated on logs. Some of them are chatting among themselves, while others are in quiet contemplation. Go and join them, taking a seat on the last spare log beside the campfire.
As you’re seated around the fire, notice the other creatures and people also gathered in this area. You may recognise some of them, while others are new to you. Feel free to observe what they look like.
At this point you may wish to leave the forest and walk back to your house, or you may choose to engage in light conversation with some of the guides gathered around before you do so. Whatever makes you comfortable. Feel free to ask for names from the guides. Notice how the presence of each guide resonates for you on a soul level.
You can repeat this exercise whenever you want to get to know who your guides are and get used to their energies. Your guides should be familiar in some way to you, whether at an energetic level or on a visual level. Even if they happen to be alien in nature, there should be something about them which makes sense to you.
If you need any further assistance with this journey, feel free to seek out my services.
There’s a lot of freedom in the pagan community to “do as thou will” in your personal practice. But how does different types of magic affect your energy, and where exactly is the line between “light” and “dark” magic?
Unlike dogmatic religion, pagan practices are not based on a set of rules which have to be followed by all devotees to the letter. Instead, an emphasis on personal responsibility and autonomy is the basis for spirituality.
Black magic is not to be confused with our shadow-selves. That aspect of our personality is supposed to be there in order to teach us about our own inner-complexity and to make us more understanding of others and humble about our own failings.
This article is not about shadow work.
This article is about performing magic which affects others (and ultimately yourself) in a negative way.
So where exactly is the line?
The key difference between positive magic and negative magic is purely that: one contributes to the collective and the other takes away.
Don’t worry, I’m about to explain that a bit more in-depth.
Dark magic is designed to take away another being’s personal power and sovereignty. It is purpose-built to impose the will of the practitioner over another’s and to either render them helpless, or to steal something from them.
As a practice, it usually involves taking something in order to perform the ritual. For example, there is a variety of blood magic out there, some of which is negative and some of which is positive. That might seem strange to you, but if you think about someone using a drop of their own blood to add life-force to a spell, that is very different from someone cutting off a chicken’s head to do their spell.
Blood, hair, clothes and other highly personal materials can be gifted for a spell, or they can be stolen. The energy entwined with how a spell-caster comes to possess an item will affect the overall energy of the spell.
Basically, even if your “intention” is “good” in your own opinion, if you use material which was not freely given for the purpose of that spell, the whole spell will be negative.
At the same time, if you use your own blood or other personal items to cast a spell with removes another person’s free will or which inflicts harm upon them, that is also a dark spell.
Stealing energy is a big no-no and it can seriously affect your personal karma as well as your ability to manifest or attract positivity into your life.
Ultimately, a material is neutral (even blood) but HOW you obtain it, and what your INTENTIONS are will determine the energy of a spell, and as with all aspects of witchcraft, you have to take personal responsibility for that.