There’s a lot of dangerous mythology about twin flames which I want to talk about in this article. Most people think it’s “divine love”, which it is, but that’s an overly simplistic definition.
I refer to “twin flames” as “twin souls” because it takes the romantic charge out of it and gives a more accurate picture.
At the dawn of the universe, mother-consciousness gave birth to a myriad of souls. Some were singular but some split within their embryonic sack and came out as dualists twins. Their energy is the same, but opposite.
Like quantum entanglement they can never be truly separate. They vibrate on the same frequency and mirror one another in an endless dance seeking reunion and wholeness.
This doesn’t mean that free-will isn’t also in play, not to mention karmic debts which have to be settled or hard lessons to learn.
Coming into union before all of that has been processed can damage the relationship a great deal.
This person reflects many aspects of yourself including the bits you don’t like. It’s then your job to look at that within yourself to heal it or just accept it.
You must love yourself unconditionally, faults and all, before the relationship will work.
This can lead to multiple phases of “dark night of the soul” as you process your triggers.
It’s a challenging task for anyone, and yet your souls chose to undertake it for a reason.
Balance, integration and a return to unconditional love are the purpose of twin flames. Re-defining what it means to be there for someone while still being there for yourself can change the game for how we all look at love.
Replacing neediness, possessiveness, restrictions, distrust and fear with their opposing energies is the only way forward.
If you can put yourself first and set boundaries, yet remain open-hearted and loving to another person despite choices they might make, you will discover how much capacity your heart really has.
And isn’t that the only thing that really matters in the end?
A lot of spiritual teachers will say that the ego is always bad and that you need to remove it, but personally I think they’ve missed the point of the ego.
We need an ego as part of our protective systems and it does this by stepping in between the vulnerable inner self and any perceived threat. It establishes boundaries for us so that we can determine what is good for us and what isn’t.
Your ego is your masculine self and just like masculinity it can be toxic, but when it’s healthy it is your greatest protection.
Divine masculinity is protective by nature. When it becomes a distortion of itself then you’ll see it behave in ways that toxic masculinity does: aggressive, negative, angry, and self-destructive. On the flip side it might become overly passive and people-pleasing.
This doesn’t mean that the ego doesn’t love you; on the contrary, your ego loves you and tries to protect you like a really good Dad. However, even the best of Dads can become over-protective and full of negativity born out of their fears.
As I mentioned, the ego stands between your vulnerable inner core and the outside world. It perceives in terms of “self” and “other” while the inner core perceives in oneness.
We need both functions in a 3D reality to stay safe, but an ego isn’t a part of who we are in spirit form.
When a baby is born it was no concept of self or other and only perceives in “oneness” which is how some core traumas can be created out of small events. This reality is a rude awakening to a soul which has come from a place of pure loving.
The ego doesn’t even exist in its full form until about the age of 7 which is when our personalities become fixed and pathological personality traits like narcissism are with us for life.
Development of the ego varies in age depending on environmental stimulation. Some people need it sooner than others, but accelerated development is not a good thing in this situation.
It’s understandable because as a child we’re physically dependent on the people around us. We need to adapt to them instead of being ourselves.
In a protective move, the ego cuts you off from your true self of oneness and takes over in survival mode. You lose touch with the inner core of universal love which lies in your heart and you start outsourcing that need to external suppliers.
Your heart is the key to reconnection with Source, but the ego has shielded you from your raw feelings because that way is a path littered with pain and we’re averse to pain.
However, if you want to become your authentic self and reconnected to love, you’ll have to process this pain first.
Part of the pain is because you rejected and abandoned yourself out of fear. When you finally know that real love was there all along and you turned your back on it, it hurts. It hurts a lot.
But real love never goes away and it’ll wait patiently for you to come back to it no matter how long it takes or how much you deny it.
Healing that connection and understanding that the ego is just a protective protocol helps you to forgive yourself and anyone who has hurt you in the past.
If you would like help making that reconnection to yourself, book a session with Louisa today.
We all want real love in this lifetime, but how do you sort out the real from the fake? And how do you move on if it isn’t going to be true love for you?
There are 5 key indicators that you have true love in your hands which you can use to figure out where a relationship is going and if it’s going to last for the future.
This one can be confusing, as we easily convince ourselves that the best thing for another person is to be as far away from us as possible. This is when we’re operating from shame, fear of rejection, and martyr mentality.
Ask yourself; Do you want to be there for them and love them in a way which fulfils you both emotionally, and do you feel that they are stepping up to be that person for you?
Both of you have to be ready and willing to be that emotional support and care for one another without being martyrs, or being stingy and mean to one another. This isn’t just a feeling, this is a decision which then requires active engagement from both sides.
Contrary to what Hollywood tells us about love, true love does not stress you out or make you feel miserable. It should actually feel calm and centred rather than full of extreme highs and lows.
There’s nothing wrong with butterflies, or feeling excitement about seeing someone, but when it gets to the level of stress-sweating about what they think of you, that’s a problem.
There’s a misconception about the heart, which is (again) the opposite of what we’re always told about love. The heart does not respond to true love in an erratic and overly emotional way. It’s considered an emotional organ, but the reality is that truth from your heart is always calm and neutral in nature.
It doesn’t overthink things, or reason, or create elaborate scenarios. It just knows it’s own truth and that’s that.
You can argue with your own heart as much as you like, but in the end you’ll always have to listen to it. It might be telling you that “this is real” and to ignore the reasoning as to why it won’t work, or it may be telling you that “this is not real” and you’ll try to kid yourself that you’re just imagining things.
However long it takes you to finally listen to the truth in your heart is how long it will take you to leave a toxic situation, or take a leap of faith towards someone who means a lot to you. Try not to waste too much time resisting the hard truths, even if they hurt for a while.
Your heart loves you unconditionally and will only ever be honest with you because it wants what’s best for you, even if that feels painful for a while.
When we ignore the heart is when we can end up with physical ailments which defy explanation, like when I had hypertension in my 20’s because I was staying in a toxic relationship. Your body will resist your free will if it’s something which is bad for you.
You need to listen to that.
Your true love should be a sanctuary for you to go to when the world is a tough place.
A loving partnership should create a safe space for both people to be themselves without judgement or condemnation. It should be where you come together to feel at peace and to feel supported in life.
We all have to put on a brave face in this world, and there’s nothing wrong with that. We also sometimes have to be the strong one for our partner when they’re unable to do it for themselves.
Like anything in a relationship, this should be reciprocal.
You might have to be stoic and dependable all day, but when you come home, you should be able to show your partner when you’re struggling and know that they’ll love you through the ups and downs of life, like the ultimate teammate.
Some relationships seem to be based on a tit-for-tat conflict where one or both people are always looking for ways to cut the other one down.
That isn’t to say that your true love can’t inadvertently trigger you. We all have wounds from previous experience, whether its our parental relationships or past love relationships, they can leave us scarred and traumatised.
You need to check-in with yourself and ask; “is this person actively trying to hurt me, or am I anticipating the hurt based on past trauma?”
The answer to this question will determine whether the other person is actually toxic, or if you’re operating from fear patterns which you have learned and need to deal with in yourself.
You’ll know if this person is your true love because questioning how they feel or how you feel doesn’t really cross your mind. You know that they love you, no matter what.
This isn’t to say that other people or your own thoughts can’t have you running a negative loop inside your head. This is more to do with checking into your heart and asking yourself; “is this person really like that, or am I just driving myself crazy?”
If you come back to the truth that this other person isn’t rejecting or abandoning you, but simply living within healthy boundaries and being themselves, then you need to examine why you’re in your head so much.
Have you been listening to bad advice from other people? Have you been listening to negative feedback from people who don’t have your best interests at heart? Are you operating from fear and engaging self-protection lockdown to avoid being hurt and therefore avoiding true intimacy?
These are all big questions, but their answers will be found within your own heart if you take the time to be still and tap into it.
Do all of these signs seem daunting to you? Are they potentially confronting a lot of fear and traumas that you may have been avoiding?
The signs of true love should challenge you, because real love is a responsibility. It’s a responsibility to your own highest and greatest good as well as to the other person.
You can’t afford to respond from fear or closing off your heart because a real connection requires vulnerability. Vulnerability is always a risk, but it’s one that sorts superficial relationships from deeper ones and can transform a previously shallow connection into one where you both experience incredible fulfillment.
To learn more about tapping into your heart for the truth, book an Intuitive Coaching session with Louisa.
What most people think of as a “twin-flame” is really more like a soul-mate or even a karmic relationship. Sometimes the easiest way to define something is to describe what it isn’t…
There’s nothing wrong with karmic or soul-mate relationships. They’re extremely important in their own ways and a soul-mate is potentially more fulfilling and stable than a twin-flame for long-term commitment.
If you’re looking for an easy, happy relationship, stick with a soul-mate. This is someone you can bond with, feel at ease with, and build a regular life with.
Karmic relationships are those stressful, anxious, often toxic relationships which are there to show you what love is NOT. Sometimes we have to go through a load of crap in order to realise our own worth and what is acceptable to us or not.
The karmic relationship is a valuable learning tool, but don’t waste too much time on it because it can detain you from real love.
Then there’s the twin flame.
This person is essentially the twin/mirror of your soul. You were conceived together and formed in the one womb as a complimentary pair of souls destined to be intertwined no matter how far you go away from each other, or how you develop independently.
This is by no means an easy relationship, and it is certainly not a guaranteed relationship.
A lot of people who have met their twin initially expect that this is the love of their lives come at last, and in a way this is true. You’ll love them, whether you like it or not, and you’ll love them forever.
Does this mean that you spend the rest of your lives in a committed relationship?
That leads me to the most important part of a twin flame relationship: you need to let go of expectations from this person. They’re on their own journey and it might include you, but it might not, and that’s ok. If you can allow them to be themselves in whatever form that is, then it means you can love yourself enough to do the same for you.
There’s nothing wrong with not being a couple. You might just have a best friend, or you may both repel each other by mirroring your crap to the point where you can’t exist in the same city, let alone the same house.
How this plays out depends on how willing you both are to face your shadows and heal yourselves. They might be completely unwilling to do this. That’s ok. You can do it for yourself and use what you learn from meeting them to help you do it.
If you’re on this soul-path, let me know in the comments or join the Facebook group to connect with others for support. The greatest lesson of the twin flame is to understand what love means and how to live it wholeheartedly.
My home is crawling with ladybugs. Like, they’re a plague inside my house for some strange reason. I moved in and less than a month later, so did they.
For those who don’t already know, ladybugs are considered to be a sign of good fortune from the universe and fall under the category of a synchronicity.
But what are synchronicities, how do you know when you’re experiencing them, and why are they showing up?
It’s different details for all of us, but essentially we receive these subtle messages from the universe to tell us when we’re on a divine path and to encourage us to have faith in the face of circumstances which might seem overwhelming, or illogical, or challenging… or all of the above.
Sometimes, when we’re in the middle of something it can be like not seeing the forest for the trees. We need higher level assurance that what is unfolding around us will ultimately be for our higher purpose and greatest good.
It can also be a message that we’re not alone in the universe and that love is available if we need it and ask for it. Our loved ones on the other side, angels, guides, and even our own higher self can be trying to get our attention for reasons which we can’t yet see or don’t understand… yet.
My own story is a prime example of this.
As I mentioned, the ladybugs turned up not long after I did inside the small shack I rented for the holidays through Air-BnB.
Lets just say that I didn’t have high expectations for that place before I got there. It’s profile had one sideways picture of an old couch and a description stating plainly that there was no bathroom, no power and no road access unless you had a 4WD. Also, the host went only by the initial “S” and his profile picture was some shady roid-fueled gym junkie.
I was expecting to be murdered, but I booked it anyway.
Desperation was the key motivation since I had quit my job, sold my share of the house to my now-ex-husband, and driven from Queensland to Tasmania via the rough sea crossing with everything I owned packed in a trailer hitched to my car and the dog.
(Check out the trip south in my video above)
I was running out of money, couldn’t find a place which would let me have my dog over Christmas, and had no solid plan for how exactly I was going to actually find a place to live or a job.
It was completely insane. The only saving grace was my house settlement and 3-months of leave from my job so that no one thought I had completely lost it. I probably would have moved with less, to be honest, but I was lucky.
As I arrived at this place, I was forced to trek by foot up a mountain dragging my suitcase through the dirt and being towed by my over-excited Samoyed, Ghost. I found a man with a chainsaw and figured I should at least be polite and introduce myself to my serial killer.
He turned out to be the host’s dad re-stocking firewood for my visit just in case I needed a fire in the middle of a heat-wave in summer. He said something I’ll never forget: that asides from nights getting cold, I might like the company.
It was an idea which struck me as very true; fire is a living thing which often has a unique energy signature of it’s own. Its also part of the elements and attracts the fire lizards known as salamanders. It is, in fact, company. This was a concept I had been divorced from after 15 years in the city, but a Tasmanian farmer was fully aware of it.
The place was actually far better than I had expected, although I think it was still a bit of a low point for me having to shower in town, cart drinking water, and walk for miles to get to my useless city car.
I was quietly freaking out that my endeavour to move to Tasmania was failing miserably as I had been there for a month at that point and hadn’t heard anything about work or housing. No one wanted me and it was demoralising.
I could feel myself losing hope, even as I enjoyed the beauty of the mountains, nearby beaches and magical starry nights. It was becoming overwhelming.
One day I stood outside the shack waiting for my dog to do his business. I couldn’t just let him out, as there was no fence and he was pretty keen to murder wallabies. He started to disappear into the treeline and I called him back inside the shack, but my curiosity was piqued as to what lay beyond the thicket.
I ducked through the branches and came to a little clearing bordered by a couple of giant boulders and towering trees. The creek could be heard cascading on the other side, but there was something more than plants in that clearing and I felt myself pause to listen.
The energy was calm but powerful and I knew with absolute certainty that an intelligence lived there which could, and would, listen to me if I chose to speak. I left the space and gathered my things from inside the shack to go explore a new town I hadn’t yet been to.
In the main street of Latrobe is a little shop called Grandlee Cottage which lured me through the doors thanks to a mixture of intriguing window display and heady scents wafting out. I’m always interested in natural beauty products and was excited to find a place which made their own.
Asides from the hemp hand-cream I bought, they also had dried florals so I bought a bag of rose petals, a bunch of lavender and a sheaf of wheat. A plan was forming in my mind and I felt guided to perform a ritual back at the shack.
When I had put away my shopping back at the accommodation, I took my dried botanicals and went back to the clearing in the forest. In the centre I placed the wheat and lavender, then scattered the rose petals in a circle around the edge.
I stood in the centre, fallen leaves under my feet and the chattering stream behind the boulder cooled the air in my lungs. I could feel the energy all around me: wise, ancient, patient and deeply rooted to that place like the blackwoods towering overhead.
“I brought you something,” I said out loud. “I’m grateful to be here right now, and I don’t expect anything, but I need help. I need to figure out how to stay here.”
I listened to the stillness and felt the answer within my body, but it wasn’t what I had expected and I realised my words were not quite right.
“I mean, to stay in Tasmania… in general,” I clarified. “Not this exact place as such…”
I stayed at the shack for almost a week before the host actually turned up, having been in Queensland of all places. As I shopped for food in the nearby town I got a message on my phone saying; “omg, you have the cutest dog ever!”
Sam was not at all like his profile picture. A bright, sunny smile greeted me at the door attached to a tall, slim and relaxed young guy.
As he cleaned the cabin, I sorted out my food shopping which I had hefted up the track in a bag strapped across my torso. I spotted my camera and decided to offer decent photos for his Air BnB venture. He clicked through the camera, examining the pictures I had taken, his expression still cheerful and relaxed.
“Yeah, these would be great,” he said. He gave me his email address to send them to and I in turn took my dog Ghost outside to get out of his way.
After he had finished cleaning up like a good host he came and found me to ask if I wanted the tour of the land around the shack. I was keen to know more about the place and fell into step beside him.
He explained that the property had been a family farm for generations and as he was growing up his parents used it for forestry. The trees had been harvested about a year before which is why the neighbouring paddock on the side of the mountain was covered in stumps. The shack itself had been built in a place which used to be a potato paddock.
It was the strangest introduction to someone I had ever experienced. There was zero discomfort in being around this complete stranger and had no hesitation in showing him my photos or telling him about my travels so far. Usually, being quite sensitive to other people’s energy, I would pick up on either good vibes or bad vibes from someone. I had never experienced neutral vides before.
As we walked back up the hill from the rocks overlooking the valley, he turned and asked if I wanted to see a secret spot.
He led the way through the trees and straight into the hidden grove I had left flowers in, still scattered among the leaf-litter on the ground.
“I’ve actually already found this spot,” I told him.
“Ok,” he said, “but have you climbed up the rock before?”
I had to admit that I hadn’t gotten that far yet so he walked ahead, tramping down the brush next to the rock and scaling the side which had some natural ledges in it. From the top he turned and held his hand down for me. I knew that I could get up without him, and I usually avoided contact with other people as there was always that sense of friction with another person’s energy, but again I had to qualms about his presence.
Completely neutral. So strange.
Why couldn’t I feel anything different or unusual?
The best explanation I had as I silently puzzled it out on top of the rock, looking down at the creek flowing on the other side, was that his energy was somehow at the exact same frequency as my own. I could see him scrutinising my reaction in my peripheral vision.
“So what do you think?” he asked, kicking a pebble off the edge.
I glanced around me at the trees and the rocks. “I think it’s like fairyland.”
His head snapped up to fix me with a look. “Have you seen them?”
The story will continue in another blog article…
When my marriage broke down I assumed that my heart would become even more closed and damaged than I believed it already was. In a lot of ways I had shut down over the years and was starting to feel less and less all the time.
Maybe that was a symptom of the relationship I was in, maybe it was the underlying cause of our problems. It’s hard to say which caused which or if it turns into a downward spiral you can’t escape until the relationship has disappeared down the drain completely.
I expected to be afraid of my future, disappointed with my past, reeling from the rejection and ashamed of having been foolish enough to put myself out there. But somehow I wasn’t.
What I didn’t expect from the aftermath of my separation is that my heart actually began to open up and even expanded exponentially. It was almost overwhelming. In spite of all the feels going on and the nights of crying, I suddenly felt more love within my own being than I had experienced in years. I was flourishing within myself, rather than needing external validation to draw it out.
This was a very different pattern to what I was used to.
Sometimes, within a relationship you become constrained within yourself. Different aspects of who you are get rejected by the other person and so you quash them in an attempt to become worthy of their love.
But their love is meager at its best. It can’t nourish your soul and so you wither from the inside-out.
When the conditions and judgement are removed, suddenly you can become yourself again. You can be whole and happy in ways which you weren’t allowed to be when under the scrutiny of your emotional jail warden.
In my journey along the path of witchcraft I have discovered a few things:
First of all, we aren’t just supposed to “do magick” we’re supposed to BE magick.
Secondly, your individual magick can be confronting for other people and may trigger ugly responses such as jealousy, anger, or fear.
These responses from other people don’t mean that you’re incorrect in some way. They just mean that the other person isn’t as comfortable with authenticity as you are. However, they will try to project that sense of being defective onto you, to try and make you wear the discomfort they’re experiencing when they look upon your inner glow.
These aspects of ourselves which other people reject can become our shadows. We see them as the things which make us ugly or unlovable. This isn’t true, but we become conditioned to believe that it is. We start to reject ourselves and the most vulnerable parts of ourselves.
Healing the heart and opening it up to love in the fullest sense is a process of embracing the bits of us which have been abandoned, rejected, treated with derision or labelled bad. We must open our arms and enfold those parts of ourselves in an embrace which says; I love you as you are.
Once you can do this for yourself, you then have the ability to do it for others. Judgement falls away. You’re not here to determine if someone is worthy or not and you’re not here to be deemed worthy in return. You already are.
Don’t keep squashing yourself into little boxes, hiding who you can be, or dimming your light so that someone will find you acceptable.
The real question you must then ask is: does that other person see me as I am and loves me anyway, or do they not? The right person for your life will not be afraid of you; they will be capable of stepping up to match you and they will be able to let you just… be.
Ascension is a bit of a buzz-word these days, but how does it really work? Is it like some sort of vegan-fuel, yoga-pant wearing version of the Rapture?
None of the process of ascension is without effort on our part. Like any kind of growth and development, it cannot be done without a degree of discomfort, or even an element of pain.
Sometimes in life we have no choice but to cut our ties and free-fall for a short time. We can feel our carefully constructed lives crumbling around us.
This breakdown is essential to the process. You may have felt yourself stagnating for a while before, but the impetus to do something about it wasn’t there. Familiarity is comfortable, even if it isn’t good for us. Not until we literally can’t stand the heat do we really choose to get out of the kitchen.
So the universe bumps up the thermostat, inch by inch, until we can no longer stand it.
That being said, there is no guarantee that just because someone is being pushed out of their comfort zone, that they will actually take much of a leap. A lot of people will be trying desperately to hold onto what they know and can become defensive of those things, or even outright aggressive against change.
However, the new cycle of energy (aka; ascension) doesn’t wait for everyone to be comfortable with the changes. It just moves through, regardless of how we fell about it, sweeping aside the energies which no longer serve us and ushering in the ones we will need for the next cycle of our future.
The symptoms of this process will be noticeable in people doubling-down to preserve their “beliefs” even if those beliefs breed hatred (eg; pro-life activists calling for the death penalty for abortions). The flip-side is others becoming almost militant about “truth” to the point where they cannot allow others to live differently (see vegan’s protesting at steak restaurants).
There is very little difference between these two types of people. Their opinions might be at polarities from one another, but their attitudes and methods are not. They have no tolerance for differing views.
Anyone who holds that tightly to a set of ideals is in for a bad time.
The process of ascension is all about questioning EVERYTHING. From what you believe in to who you are as an individual. You cannot afford to align yourself with anything in such a hardcore fashion or you’ll never be flexible enough to ride the waves which are swelling.
I liken it to something Australians are familiar with; rip-tides.
A “rip” is a stream of fast back-flowing water near the ocean shore. If someone swimming at the beach is caught in a rip, they will be rapidly swept out to sea against their will. In fact, the more you struggle against a rip-tide, the worse it will be. You will never win against the current and fighting it will simply tire you out and result in drowning.
The recommendation for dealing with a rip-tide is the same advice I would give anyone caught in the energy streams of an ascension moment. DON’T STRUGGLE. Let the current carry you to where it is going and when it stops, swim sideways to a different area of the ocean and start making your way back to shore.
Yes, it’s scary. Yes, you will feel like you’re way out of your depth and possibly about to die. That’s not an unrealistic feeling. You ARE out of your depth, and this is do-or-die.
Ascension is the call to step up.
When the universe demands us to step up, we either do it, or we go the way of the dinosaur and become obsolete within our own times. There is no package-deal guided tour of this shit. The energy is so powerful that no one can tell you where it is going to take you, what you will have to give up to make it happen, or how big it will go.
So how do you deal with times like this?
You will have to trust that if you ride the tide, it is taking you to something bigger and better than you can possibly imagine, because ascension is also expansion.
Ultimately, the demolition of what has been crumbling is happening whether we like it or not. The real question which we need to start asking is: where do you want to be? What do you REALLY want?
Start imagining the potential. Start dreaming bigger, even as the walls fall down around your ears. Start cataloguing all the ways in which you have matured, learned important skills, and stepped up for yourself.
The universe is about to ask you to be bigger and better than you have been, but in exchange you will need to make room in your life by removing the excess baggage and you will have to remain open to new horizons you’re not aware of yet.