If you’re one of the rare personality types which have the dominant cognitive function of Introverted Intuition (Ni) then this article is the advice you probably need to hear.
The two personality types I’m referring to (but this can apply to other types who tap into intuition) are the INFJ and INTJ. I’m the former and currently dating the latter (hopefully ongoing I must say).
Because it’s early days in the relationship, I haven’t necessarily wanted to talk about some things which may have left me with PTSD. Discussing trauma and uncontrollably sobbing is not sexy or fun so I ended up being a bit cagey around previous attachments.
Him being an INTJ immediately knew I was leaving things out and assumed it was because I still had feelings for someone.
I have feelings alright but they are mostly fear and revulsion. Generally though, I’m trying to repress the trauma so I can work on it gradually and rebuild my life. I don’t want to be reminded, however trauma is very patient and waits for you, ready to come rushing to the fore as soon as you look at it.
Intuition is a funny thing because it will ping on a very subtle and almost intangible level. It makes itself impossible to ignore and niggles at you like an insatiable itch. Intuition will prompt the question, but it cannot always provide an answer.
Intuitive types can be like a dog with a bone; unable to let it go until they get an answer. Sometimes they think they already know the answer and keep hammering away at the subject from that angle, determined to uncover the truth.
This creates a perfect storm.
He wanted his intuition validated and wouldn’t leave the subject alone which in turn triggered my PTSD and caused me to launch into fight-or-flight.
The only resolution came when I provided screenshots and details about things which happened to me which left me so upset I almost ended things.
No one likes false accusations.
No one likes being kept in the dark.
It’s an impossible situation but we managed to work through it.
Just because you know something is amiss, doesn’t mean it;
Sometimes you just need to leave people alone and let them do their thing. Persisting on exposing the truth no matter what can damage trust and relationships. It can also make you look very insensitive and if the truth is not what you assumed it was (because intuition is not knowledge as such) then you can end up feeling terrible.
This is a balancing act because there are times you need to act on intuition and times when it probably doesn’t matter.
Whatever the case, never assume that you have figured out the answer without more information. By all means distance yourself from people who you feel unable to trust, but don’t get into harsh judgments. There might be more to it than you can see.
You don’t have to validate your intuition every time.