A lot of spiritual teachers will say that the ego is always bad and that you need to remove it, but personally I think they’ve missed the point of the ego.
We need an ego as part of our protective systems and it does this by stepping in between the vulnerable inner self and any perceived threat. It establishes boundaries for us so that we can determine what is good for us and what isn’t.
Your ego is your masculine self and just like masculinity it can be toxic, but when it’s healthy it is your greatest protection.
Divine masculinity is protective by nature. When it becomes a distortion of itself then you’ll see it behave in ways that toxic masculinity does: aggressive, negative, angry, and self-destructive. On the flip side it might become overly passive and people-pleasing.
This doesn’t mean that the ego doesn’t love you; on the contrary, your ego loves you and tries to protect you like a really good Dad. However, even the best of Dads can become over-protective and full of negativity born out of their fears.
As I mentioned, the ego stands between your vulnerable inner core and the outside world. It perceives in terms of “self” and “other” while the inner core perceives in oneness.
We need both functions in a 3D reality to stay safe, but an ego isn’t a part of who we are in spirit form.
When a baby is born it was no concept of self or other and only perceives in “oneness” which is how some core traumas can be created out of small events. This reality is a rude awakening to a soul which has come from a place of pure loving.
The ego doesn’t even exist in its full form until about the age of 7 which is when our personalities become fixed and pathological personality traits like narcissism are with us for life.
Development of the ego varies in age depending on environmental stimulation. Some people need it sooner than others, but accelerated development is not a good thing in this situation.
It’s understandable because as a child we’re physically dependent on the people around us. We need to adapt to them instead of being ourselves.
In a protective move, the ego cuts you off from your true self of oneness and takes over in survival mode. You lose touch with the inner core of universal love which lies in your heart and you start outsourcing that need to external suppliers.
Your heart is the key to reconnection with Source, but the ego has shielded you from your raw feelings because that way is a path littered with pain and we’re averse to pain.
However, if you want to become your authentic self and reconnected to love, you’ll have to process this pain first.
Part of the pain is because you rejected and abandoned yourself out of fear. When you finally know that real love was there all along and you turned your back on it, it hurts. It hurts a lot.
But real love never goes away and it’ll wait patiently for you to come back to it no matter how long it takes or how much you deny it.
Healing that connection and understanding that the ego is just a protective protocol helps you to forgive yourself and anyone who has hurt you in the past.
If you would like help making that reconnection to yourself, book a session with Louisa today.