Call it what you will; Kundalini Awakening, Shamanic Crisis or the Spiritual Ordeal. In the end it amounts to the same thing, manifested in a variety of ways and viewed from a multitude of contexts.
You’re waking up.
No one can say if the process of transitioning from a caterpillar to a butterfly is painful or not. From the outside it looks peaceful. Inside may be another matter entirely. All we know for sure is that a massive change takes place before the creature can spread it’s wings.
Human spiritual development is no different.
The cocoon phase is not a peaceful slumber, but an all out struggle to survive and hold onto everything you knew and thought you needed. You may struggle with depression, anxiety, migraines, fatigue, bowel problems, circulation problems, gland problems… basically you’re in crisis.
Once you start embracing the change and living your new truth, the struggle ceases. Fighting it is what prolongs the ordeal.
I used to regularly get migraines so bad that I would be bed-ridden for days, sometimes throw up and occasionally have to go to the emergency room to get put on a drip. My head would burn up and I would get a fever-rash all over my body.
I was on medication for depression and having counselling, the doctor wanted to put me on hypertension medication, I woke up exhausted every morning and endured daily bouts of diarrhea. If something startled me I would shake so hard that I couldn’t hold a pen or hold the clutch in while driving. My anxiety made it hard to socialize and also hard to go to work.
I was physically and emotionally broken.
Then, I started seeing the shadows. Again.
For a long time I had suppressed my ability to see and hear things I didn’t want to see or hear. I pretended to be normal, all the while raging internally to get free. I squashed myself into a box which other people had made for me, and smiled with gratitude at all the hurtful things they said.
However, I couldn’t ignore the hulking black figure which stood in my kitchen watching me. I felt for sure that my sanity had finally cracked.
In an attempt to drive it away I went back to church, but I found when I got there that I had moved past that point in life. I was beyond the phase when I needed or wanted someone else to save me. There must be a way to do this stuff for myself, I figured.
So I started reading.
I trawled the internet for everything I could find and I also raided the local library for books on every subject I could think of. At first what I found was all the fear-based stuff; stories of hauntings, tales of demonic possession, ghost hunters…
…but then I stumbled across other things; shamanism, druidry, witchcraft, esoterica.
I started to learn more about subtle energies and how they work. I learnt about vibrations and frequencies. I learnt about good spiritual hygiene.
All of a sudden I was equipped to deal with my own personal haunting and I was tired enough of being pushed around, intimidated, belittled and used by everyone and everything around me that I was angry enough to become bold.
I took that mother-fucker DOWN.
The migraines stopped. My anxiety abated, I woke up refreshed, and all of a sudden the world was in colour again.
When you have the power to take control of your life and instead consistently give that power away to others, it lowers your vibrancy.
If you don’t own your power, it allows others to take as much of it as they want. Often they will be actual people, but sometimes it is also dark entities. Either way it doesn’t matter; you need to cut them off from the free buffet and kick them out of your house.
When you start owning your power and using it in your own life, that is the point of no return. You cannot go back to being a caterpillar once you have wings.
The question now is; where to from here?
So many people after they have awoken feel the need to do something more with it than just look after themselves. The first rule is not to forget to look after yourself above others. This isn’t “being selfish” this is about conscientious self-care. If you’re not whole in yourself you’ll never be able to help others. This is good spiritual hygiene.
The mission isn’t to “save” everyone around you. The mission is to show them how to ignite their own flame and exercise their own power.
Sovereignty is the key. We are all capable and responsible for ourselves, which is the most empowering state to be in. Demonstrating this allows others around you to wake up too. Showing a way out of the labyrinth gives hope to everyone who is still lost inside.
Raise your frequency, be vibrant, and shine your light for all the world to see. The rubbish will fall away.